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Last night’s Second Wives Club was all about miscommunication. Like, was the boat supposed to be a yacht? Is owning a nail salon worse than being an Instagram model? Is “junky” a compliment? Does “single” on Facebook mean single in real life? Oh the quandaries to ponder!
Tania Mehra is “busy” “planning” her wedding. Sometimes. No one is sure if this wedding is an actual thing or some sort of figment of Tania’s imagination where pigs fly on wings of diamonds and dinghies sail to Cannes with P. Diddy on board. To keep up the pretense, Tania invites some of the girls to a tasting of potential wedding food. Katie Cazrola‘s appetite is lost by sitting next to Morisa Surrey‘s constant chatter. Like, can a Pisces eat fish or is that cannibalism? Is a farmed salmon still a real salmon?
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The real question is wherefore out thou Veronika Obeng? She hates Morisa too, and Katie needs an ally amid this sea of crazy. Katie escapes to call Veronica. She gets only a terse answer that everything is fine, but she’s in no mood for fish-tasting. Michael has been doing plenty of that in his spare time! Veronika isn’t ready to tell anyone – not even her close friend Katie that she caught Michael having an affair (again). When Veronika suddenly hangs up, Katie realizes something fishy is going on and she plans to get to the bottom of it!
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Also absent is Shiva Safai, but that’s because Tania didn’t invite her to the wedding. Poor Katie is her own island. So when in Crazytown, might as well do as the crazies do and guzzle thy wine.
So, Shawna Craig is gonna be an actress, come hell or Lorenzo Lamas‘s puppy dog eyes bleeding man-tears of lost nursemaid wives. While Shawna wants to be a working girl, Shiva wants to be a woman of leisure, but she doesn’t have the time. Maybe because it takes so long to get from one side of her house to the other that she’s never actually found the Turkish bath, and by the time she reaches the pool, the sun has set and it’s time to prepare Mohamed’s warm milk and cookies before bed.
Luckily with friends like Katie one has all the reminders they need of what it looks like to use the pool. Mermaid tail or not, Katie dives, dips, and swims into the pristine waters, while an almost fully covered and perfectly coiffed Shiva ‘sunbathes’ on the deck.
Katie has plenty of time for leisure – given that the only thing she does is run that little nail salon and guzzle wine. Tania has a real job. She wears skimpy clothes, attaches a giant balloon to the crown of her head, and then posts photos on Instagram. This is, like, legit, full-time, and very serious. Therefore she is well equipped to advise Shawna on the new head shots her new agent told her to get. Personally I think Shawna needs more help than either Tania or Katie could offer – like how could neither of these so-called friends let a “boo” know how bad her dye job is?
Shawna visits Tania for a makeup lesson from her glam squad and admits she kinda hates being done-up. Shawna just wants to dress “junky, like Katie.” I guess “junky” means a $300 bikini instead of the $500 one Shiva wears? Tania, wise old owl of modeling and sage advisor of style, informs Shawna that Katie owns a nail salon and doesn’t need to look hot. I mean an actress must sell herself, which means glam, but Katie can wear whatever to talk about toenails. What I think Tania meant is that being an actress also means looking the part. But Shawna took Tania’s words and ran with them… right to Katie.
Katie diagnosed Shawna’s Tania-ized makeup face as “drag queen” and way too much. Since the shit is being spread – actually spackled on – Shawna goes ahead and reveals [with bad acting] that Tania insulted Katie’s nail salon. Then she insists that Tania didn’t mean it “like that.” Too late! Katie is furious th…
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